What Happened to Good Manners?

Bill Hamon, in his book on Prophets and Pitfalls, discusses the importance of what he calls the 10 M’s of ministry. One of the M’s that he talks about is the M of Manners. Manners matter! But it seems as if people today in general and, in some cases, believers, including ministers, have lost their minds on manners. To them, manners don’t matter.

Recently, I had someone who posted something on my page where they bad mouthed prophetic words I posted. And a respectable minister (or so I thought) agreed with them. I confronted them. I stated that I was open to criticism, willing to change if I was wrong, and was open to dialogue. But I also said that I expected them to be respectful. Then, I pointed out a scripture: “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father” 1 Tim. 5:1.

That’s how I treat elders in the Church. I don’t have the right to just say what I think. I must obey the scripture. And that means learning how to treat others, especially those in leadership positions, with respect. Doing that is called, honoring those in authority, which is something scripture encourages. In fact, it says, “Honour all men.” 1 Pet. 2:17. (By the way, men was added by the translators. It’s not in the original text. The original text reads, honor all.)

What a great principle to live by! How is it that so many in the Church are generally disrespectful, show little honor to those in leadership, and have acquired such bad manners? Much of the teaching on having good manners that was taught by our predecessors is no longer taught. We lack teaching on manners, and we fail to practice good manners, especially in conversations.

The Bible has much to say about the words that we use and what we say. Jesus, and it’s hard to get a higher authority than Him, said, “whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” Matt. 5:22, NASB. Yikes! Calling someone “fool” can cause us to be condemned to hell. Wow!

Maybe God expects us to have good manners, especially in our conversations. What the Apostle Paul taught was for us to “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Eph. 4:32, NLT. Doing that requires good manners.

I think social media has in many cases stripped us of our social skills. We think we have the right to say whatever we want to say. And while we may have that 1st Amendment right under the United States Constitution, we don’t have that same right in the Constitution of God’s kingdom. What we say can send us to hell, as Jesus says, “for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matt. 12:37, ESV.

What do we need? Soap! Lots of soap. As it says in Malachi 3:2, Amplified Bible, “But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s fire and like launderer’s soap [which removes impurities and uncleanness].” Yes, God always brings the soap with Him. And unlike parents today, He still washes mouths with soap. Why does He do this? To instill good manners into His children. 

Guess what?! Daddy’s home.

— Scott Wallis
Thank You